Pick me! Pick me!

And 34 days later, I am looking for a job.

Gone are the days I could knock on a back office door ("Please sir, I want some more shifts..."). Now, it seems that getting a job require a person to answer such long-winded criteria as:

1. excellent communication skills (telepathy is essential)
2. effective integration problem escalation management or capacity to acquire these skills
3. knowledge of the organisation's policies, whether unwritten, written or imaginary
4. 100 years experience in other jobs (though applicants may be at a disadvantage to people with experience in this job)
5. experience in this job (though applicants may be at a disadvantage to everyone else)
6. superlative organisational skills, demonstrated by running a small country or similar

As they (who?) say, necessity is the mother of invention...